Time: The One Thing No One Can Buy
God gives everyone 168 hours each week - 24 hours a day for 7 days. This time is a gift to be used wisely.
You can have $3 million in the bank and still feel poor.
I've seen it more times than I can count. Successful professionals sitting across from me, their financial statements telling one story whilst their faces tell another. On paper, everything looks perfect: high income streams, diversified portfolios, prestigious career trajectories, and assets that would make most Kiwis envious.
But beneath the surface? A different reality entirely.
Stress that follows them home every evening. Uncertainty that keeps them awake at 3 AM, staring at the ceiling. A quietly pervasive sense that, despite all their achievements, it's never quite enough.
The goalposts keep moving, the finish line keeps shifting, and the peace of mind they thought money would bring remains frustratingly elusive.
After working with hundreds of high-achievers, I've discovered this phenomenon rarely stems from what's visible on their balance sheets. Instead, it comes down to three invisible relationships that most people never examine. Yet these relationships shape everything: how they spend, save, think, and ultimately, how they feel about their financial lives.
These relationships don't just influence money decisions. They ripple through career choices, health habits, sleep quality, personal relationships, and long-term planning. Research consistently shows that financial well-being is more strongly correlated with psychological factors than absolute wealth levels¹. Understanding these relationships isn't just about financial wellness—it's about life wellness.
Relationship #1: Your Relationship with Money
Most people obsess over the numbers: net worth, income growth, investment returns, KiwiSaver balances. These metrics matter, but they're only part of the equation. The fundamental question few ever ask is, “What do I actually believe about money?”
Is money something you control, or something that controls you? Do you see it as a tool for freedom, or a source of anxiety? A measure of success… or a threat to your values?
Studies in behavioural economics demonstrate that our financial decisions are driven more by psychological factors than rational calculations². If your core beliefs about money were formed during times of scarcity, uncertainty, or financial stress, they may no longer serve the life you're building today. Many successful people still operate from the same financial fears they carried in their twenties and thirties, even after their circumstances have dramatically changed.
Your financial plan must reflect the life you want now, not the fears you carried decades ago. This means regularly examining and updating your money beliefs as you evolve. What felt prudent at 35 might feel restrictive at 55. What seemed risky in your early career might now represent exactly the kind of calculated risk that aligns with your values and goals.
Understanding your money personality provides crucial insight into why certain strategies feel right whilst others create internal conflict, regardless of their theoretical benefits.
Relationship #2: Your Relationship with Time
Time is the most underpriced asset in any portfolio, and it's the one asset people consistently undervalue in their decision-making.
You can recover money, but you cannot recover time.
Market downturns are temporary. Career setbacks can be overcome. Investment losses can be recouped. But the hours, days, and years you spend? They're gone forever.
Despite knowing this on an intellectual level, many high achievers continue to spend time like it’s unlimited. They optimise for financial returns whilst ignoring time returns.
“Money can’t buy happiness” – but time might
Research from Harvard Business School shows that people who prioritise time over money report higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction³. They'll spend hours researching a minor investment decision whilst giving little thought to how they're investing this most precious resource.
If your time isn't aligned with what truly matters to you, no amount of money will create the sense of freedom you're seeking. This is why some people with modest incomes feel genuinely wealthy whilst others with substantial assets feel trapped.
Real wealth isn't just about having money, it's about having choices. And choice is fundamentally powered by time:
The freedom to say no to opportunities that don't align with your values.
The ability to spend unhurried time with people you care about.
The luxury of pursuing interests that fulfil you, regardless of their financial return.
Think on how you spend your hours and ask, “does this reflect what I say matters most to me?” If there's a disconnect, all the financial success in the world won't create the life satisfaction you're seeking.
Relationship #3: Your Relationship with Yourself
This relationship is the most neglected yet the most powerful of the three.
Many successful people can articulate what success looks like in concrete terms. They can talk income level, asset targets, career milestones, even lifestyle markers – but they don’t know what success feels like on a personal level.
If you've never paused to define success for yourself—really define it, beyond external measures—you'll spend your life chasing someone else's version of it. You'll hit financial targets, career goals, and accumulate assets… but they won't create the security you thought they would.
Positive psychology research confirms that intrinsic motivations (personal growth, relationships, contribution) lead to greater well-being than extrinsic motivations (wealth, fame, status)⁴. This is why you can have a portfolio that's growing steadily and still feel fundamentally stuck. Your external wins are not as directly connected to your internal sense of progress and fulfilment as you might think.
Your relationship with yourself determines what is "enough." It shapes what risks feel worth taking and which ones feel reckless, and influences whether you see money as a tool for creating the life you want – or as a scorecard for proving your worth.
The Integration Point
These three relationships don't exist in isolation. Your beliefs about money affect how you value time, while your relationship with yourself shapes both your money beliefs and time choices.
When these relationships are aligned, financial decisions feel natural and sustainable. When they're in conflict, even objectively good strategies can create stress and resistance.
True financial wellness isn't just about having enough money. It's about ensuring your financial life reflects your actual values, supports your real priorities, and creates space for what genuinely matters to you.
Why Professional Guidance Matters
Understanding these three relationships intellectually is one thing. Developing them is quite another.
Most people recognise that something isn't working in their financial life, but they struggle to identify exactly what that is. Making matters more complex, our relationships with money, time, and self are deeply personal and often unconscious. They’re shaped by decades of experiences, family patterns, cultural messages, and past decisions.
This is where working with a fee-based holistic adviser becomes invaluable. Unlike commission-driven advisers who profit from selling products, fee-based advisers are compensated directly by you for their expertise and guidance. This alignment means their recommendations are driven by what's best for your situation, not what generates the highest commission.
A truly holistic approach recognises that your financial life doesn't exist in isolation from the rest of your life. Your money decisions affect your relationships, career choices, health, and overall life satisfaction. Similarly, changes in these other areas ripple back into your financial planning needs.
A skilled holistic adviser serves as both strategist and accountability partner. They help you identify any blind spots, challenge the assumptions limiting your progress, and keep you focused on what truly matters to you – rather than getting distracted by market noise or society's definition of success.
Perhaps most critically, they help you stay aligned with your true mission over time. Life evolves, priorities shift, and what felt right five years ago may no longer serve you today. Regular check-ins with an objective professional ensure your financial strategies continue reflecting your current values and goals, not outdated versions of yourself.
Professional Financial Advice Provides Value Beyond Returns
The investment in professional guidance pays dividends not just in financial returns, but in the peace of mind that comes from knowing your money, time, and life choices are all working in harmony towards what matters most to you.
There is no set-and-forget strategy when it comes to true financial wellness. Every day, week, month, quarter, and year, your plan must evolve and be reshaped to reflect the reality of your changing life. Just as your life is not set-and-forget—constantly growing, adapting, and responding to new circumstances—your financial strategy must be equally dynamic and responsive to serve you effectively.
Nick Stewart
(Ngāi Tahu, Ngāti Huirapa, Ngāti Māmoe, Ngāti Waitaha)
Financial Adviser and CEO at Stewart Group
Stewart Group is a Hawke's Bay and Wellington based CEFEX & BCorp certified financial planning and advisory firm providing personal fiduciary services, Wealth Management, Risk Insurance & KiwiSaver scheme solutions.
The information provided, or any opinions expressed in this article, are of a general nature only and should not be construed or relied on as a recommendation to invest in a financial product or class of financial products. You should seek financial advice specific to your circumstances from a Financial Adviser before making any financial decisions. A disclosure statement can be obtained free of charge by calling 0800 878 961 or visit our website, www.stewartgroup.co.nz
Article no. 424
References
¹ Kahneman, D., & Deaton, A. (2010). High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 107(38), 16489-16493.
² Thaler, R. H., & Sunstein, C. R. (2008). Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness. Yale University Press.
³ Whillans, A. V., Dunn, E. W., Smeets, P., Bekkers, R., & Norton, M. I. (2017). Buying time promotes happiness. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 114(32), 8523-8527.
⁴ Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (1996). Further examining the American dream: Differential correlates of intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22(3), 280-287.
