You think you have time.
We all do. It's perhaps the most dangerous illusion we carry—this belief that time stretches endlessly ahead of us, that there will always be tomorrow to have that conversation, next weekend to visit family, or next year to finally prioritise what truly matters.
But what if I told you that with your ageing parents, you might only have nine more summers together? Five more birthdays to celebrate? Perhaps just three more years whilst they're in good health?
These aren't hypothetical scenarios designed to provoke emotion. They're statistical realities based on actuarial data, life expectancy tables, and the uncomfortable mathematics of mortality.[i] They're timelines that don't negotiate with your busy schedule or accommodate your best intentions.
The Shaded Reality
Picture a chart where each row represents a life—yours, your parents', your children's. The shaded portions show time already consumed. The blank spaces? Those represent what might remain, if fortune favours you. For most high-achieving professionals reading this, a significant portion of those rows are already filled in.
Four months ago, we farewelled my dad after a brief illness. Four weeks ago, I celebrated my grandmother's 95th birthday. Next year, I turn 50.
In the span of a few months, I've been confronted with the full arc of life—loss, celebration, and my own mortality staring back at me. Standing between generations, I see clearly what the data has always shown: time isn't infinite, and it doesn't wait for us to be ready.
This isn't meant to depress—it's meant to ground you in reality. Because awareness is the first step towards intentional living.
The High Achiever's Paradox
I work with successful professionals who have mastered the art of building wealth, advancing careers, and creating impressive lives on paper. They've optimised portfolios, maximised returns, and strategised their way to financial success. Yet many arrive at a peculiar paradox: they've become experts at managing money but amateurs at managing time.
Research from Harvard Business School shows that executives consistently underestimate how long tasks will take whilst overestimating how much time they have available.[ii] They can tell you their net worth to the penny but struggle to remember the last meaningful conversation with their teenager. They've planned their retirement finances meticulously but haven't considered what relationships will sustain them through those years. They've built empires but sometimes wonder if they're ruling over kingdoms they've forgotten to inhabit.
The irony is stark: these individuals have succeeded by being incredibly intentional about their professional lives whilst often being surprisingly passive about their personal ones.
The Opportunity Cost of Success
Every choice carries an opportunity cost, and this principle applies ruthlessly to time. The late nights at the office, the weekend conferences, the business trips—each represents time invested in one area at the expense of another. For years, this trade-off felt sustainable, even necessary. Success demanded sacrifice, and time with family seemed infinitely renewable.
But time isn't money. Money can be earned back; time cannot. A missed Ripper Rugby game doesn't offer a makeup date. A conversation postponed with an ageing parent might never happen. The window for influence in your teenager's life has an expiration date that arrives sooner than you think.
Consider this: your child likely has only 18 summers under your roof. If they're already ten, you're down to eight. If they're fifteen, you have three. These aren't abstractions—they're countdowns with real implications for relationship building, memory creation, and legacy establishment.
The False Promise of "Later"
"Later" is perhaps the most expensive word in the English language. Later, I'll travel with my spouse. Later, I'll teach my children about money, values, and life. Later, I'll slow down and enjoy what I've built. Later, I'll have those important conversations.
But "later" assumes a guarantee that doesn't exist. Health changes. People age. Children grow up and move away. Interests shift. The person you planned to spend time with "later" might not be the same person—or might not be there at all.
Studies on time perception show that as we age, time seems to accelerate—largely because each year represents a smaller fraction of our total lived experience.[iii] What felt like forever in childhood becomes fleeting in middle age. The most successful people I know have learnt to distinguish between deferring gratification (a valuable skill) and deferring life itself (a dangerous gamble). Building wealth requires the former; living meaningfully demands you avoid the latter.
Redefining Success
True wealth isn't just financial—it's temporal. It's having enough time to spend on what matters whilst you still can. It's being present for the moments that money can't buy back. It's recognising that the ultimate luxury isn't a bigger house or a better car—it's time spent with intention.
Research from the Stanford Center on Longevity suggests that people who maintain strong relationships live longer, healthier lives.[iv] This doesn't mean abandoning ambition or accepting mediocrity. It means expanding your definition of success to include presence, relationships, and legacy alongside profit margins and portfolio performance. It means being as strategic about your time as you are about your investments.
The Legacy Question
What legacy are you building? Bronnie Ware's research with palliative care patients revealed the top regret of the dying: "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."[v] If you continue on your current trajectory, what will people say about how you spent your time? More importantly, what will you say about how you spent it?
Your children won't remember the size of your bonus or the prestige of your title. They'll remember whether you were present, engaged, and interested in their lives. Your spouse won't cherish the material comforts as much as the shared experiences and emotional intimacy. Your own deathbed reflections are unlikely to focus on career achievements over meaningful relationships.
Legacy isn't what you leave behind—it's what you create whilst you're here.
The Path Forward
Living with time awareness doesn't require dramatic life changes. It requires intentional choices. It means scheduling family time with the same rigour you apply to business meetings. It means saying no to opportunities that don't align with your values. It means having honest conversations about what matters most and making decisions that reflect those priorities.
Research from MIT's Sloan School of Management shows that people who align their time allocation with their stated values report significantly higher life satisfaction.[vi] It means recognising that optimisation isn't just about maximising returns—it's about maximising the returns on life itself.
The Need for Guidance
But here's what I've learnt from years of working with high-achieving families: awareness alone isn't enough. Good intentions without proper guidance often lead to well-meaning but ineffective actions. You need someone who understands both the complexity of your financial life and the importance of your personal one.
You need an adviser who can help you align your wealth with your values, your time with your priorities, and your success with your significance. Someone who can guide you through the process of building not just financial security, but life security. Someone who understands that true financial planning isn't just about the money—it's about creating the life you want to live with the time you have left.
But here's what separates a true adviser from the rest: they'll speak the unspoken truth. They'll put the relationship on the line if they think your ship is about to run aground. Like a best mate who speaks gospel truth when you need to hear it most—not a yes-man wanting to keep the business on the books. Because sometimes the most valuable advice isn't what you want to hear, it's what you need to hear.
You need purpose-driven guidance with a 10/10 probability of success because the stakes are too high for anything less. Your life, your relationships, and your legacy depend on getting this right.
The question isn't whether you have time. The question is what you'll do with the time you have.
[i] Statistics New Zealand. (2023). Life Expectancy and Mortality Data. Wellington: Government Printer.
[ii] Buehler, R., Griffin, D., & Ross, M. (1994). Exploring the "planning fallacy": Why people underestimate their task completion times. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67(3), 366-381.
[iii] Wittmann, M., & Lehnhoff, S. (2005). Subjective time perception and its modulation. Consciousness and Cognition, 14(2), 308-326.
[iv] Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.
[v] Ware, B. (2012). The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. London: Hay House UK.
[vi] Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (1996). Further examining the American dream: Differential correlates of intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22(3), 280-287.
Nick Stewart (Ngāi Tahu, Ngāti Huirapa, Ngāti Māmoe, Ngāti Waitaha) is a Financial Adviser and CEO at Stewart Group, a Hawke's Bay and Wellington based CEFEX & BCorp certified financial planning and advisory firm. Stewart Group provides personal fiduciary services, Wealth Management, Risk Insurance & KiwiSaver scheme solutions. Article no. 415.
The information provided, or any opinions expressed in this article, are of a general nature only and should not be construed or relied on as a recommendation to invest in a financial product or class of financial products. You should seek financial advice specific to your circumstances from a Financial Adviser before making any financial decisions. A disclosure statement can be obtained free of charge by calling 0800 878 961 or visit our website, www.stewartgroup.co.nz
